Nukes And Oil: Iran Is Back, Baby!

on July 14, 2015 at 5:53 PM

Iran Thumbs upHey, we have an Iran deal. You know what that means… No, I’m talking about… would you get out from under your desks, you look like a damn fool.

I’m talking about oil of course. Crude. The good stuff. By the end of the year, Iran should be able to flood the market with sweet liquified dead organic matter. From Fuel Fix:

The landmark deal, reached overnight in Vienna, paves the way for the United States, United Nations and the European Union to lift sanctions on Iran once the country makes changes to its nuclear program.

And though the timeline for that implementation is unclear, analysts were widely predicting Tuesday that Iran could begin ramping up oil exports by the end of the year, selling its crude to a world already oversupplied with the stuff.

While Iran is exporting all of its oil, it probably won’t need very much to run its own country. That’s because its “super peaceful, we promise” nuclear program is all systems go. From NBC News:

The plan allows Iran to retain its nuclear program for purely peaceful purposes — including electricity and for medical treatments. Tehran has agreed to certain limits on all uranium enrichment and related research and development for the first eight years of the agreement.

“Iran reaffirms that under no circumstances will Iran ever seek, develop or acquire any nuclear weapons,” according to a text of the agreement released Tuesday.

I love this plan, I’m excited to be a part of it. Fining this rogue nation back to the stone age hasn’t done a lot for international security, so let’s make them flush with oil cash and nuclear power plants. OIL AND HEAVY WATER FOR EVERYBODY. That could work.

But… save some space under the desk, just in case.