Ed. note: This is a weekly column by Elie Mystal, Managing Editor of Above the Law Redline. This space will focus on the laws that exist, should exist, and should be put out of their misery.
UNDER-REGULATED
The Mississippi River: The Mississippi river blew up yesterday. Okay, that’s not entirely accurate. A gas pipeline exploded near the Ross Barnett Reservoir, which supplies drinking water to Jackson, Mississippi. Flames could be seen shooting up into the air, and houses shook. No injuries have yet been reported, GulfSouth shut the line down an hour after the explosion, as firefighters waited for the gas to bleed off.
Let me say this, there is no way, no way, that a gas pipeline explodes next to a drinking reservoir and that story doesn’t end up in courtroom. We’ll check back in with this story in 2017.
Methane: President Obama wants the oil-and-gas industry to reduce methane emissions by 40% to 45% by 2025.
In related news, I want the Mets to win 40% to 45% of the world championships between now and 2025. So there.
Let me say this, there is no way, no way, that the oil-and-gas industry will reduce methane emissions by 45% in ten years without enough lawsuits to turn all of the lawyers in Houston into millionaires.
OVER-REGULATED
Petrobras: Another former official from Brazil’s state-run Petrobras company was detained as part of an ongoing investigation into corruption at the company. Nestor Cervero was the company’s former financial director and the third Petrobras bigwig to be detained. He was stopped when he arrived back in Brazil from Great Britain.
Here’s a pro-tip for former Petrobras executives: stay out of Brazil. Town’s too hot right now. Man, you’d think corrupt oil execs would be a little bit better at being international Bond villains.
New York’s Fracking Ban: To be honest, I kind of had a feeling that Andrew Cuomo’s ban on fracking in New York State was going to end up looking quite silly. It’s kind of like Oklahoma declaring a statewide ban on whaling. Here’s a report from the Associated Press:
New York’s recent decision to ban fracking is hardly seen as a big loss for the nation’s production of natural gas.
That’s because scientists say New York’s available reserves of natural gas in the sprawling Marcellus Shale are minuscule compared to what can be extracted in other states such as Pennsylvania and West Virginia.
New York’s gas consumption is increasing though. That means we’re going to need some more pipelines to West Virginia. And sometimes, those pipelines will blow up. We’ll… check back in with this story in 2017.
